LYIPhSAA (lviii)
Edited: 09.17.2023
Ye Zi’s heart couldn’t stop pounding. Gu Yan retracted his gaze as his fingers slid across the scrolls: “This piece was done not long after you came to serve me. I didn’t want to learn martial arts at that time, but you kept pestering me and insisted on teaching me swordsmanship. “
“And this one, we went to the countryside for a Spring outing. We had a little fight on the way and I deliberately ran away on horseback. You were so anxious as you looked for me everywhere.”
“This one was when I was having a lesson with the Grand Tutor. You were lying on the acacia tree outside the study and fell asleep and almost fell off.”
……
Ye Zi didn’t interrupt, but stood quietly aside and listened carefully to Gu Yan’s explanation. He didn’t remember anything that Gu Yan had said, but as he listened carefully, every scene felt familiar to him.
After he finished talking about the last painting, Gu Yan turned his head to look at him and laughed softly: “You probably don’t remember any of this.”
“I……”
“No worries, if you can’t remember, don’t force yourself.” Gu Yan said, “Actually, I don’t remember many of these things either. The longer time passes, the more blurry those memories become. I drew them down because I didn’t want to forget.”
Gu Yan put the scrolls away: “There is nothing else to see here, let’s head out for now.”
Ye Zi followed Gu Yan out of the secret room and the two of them sat down in the main room.
Gu Yan said after careful consideration: “A Zi, if you really can’t remember anything that I just told you, don’t worry too much about it. Because…….that all happened in a previous life.”
Ye Zi’s eyes moved slightly: “You……”
“Reincarnation, time travel, I have never believed in these things in the past, but it actually happened.” Gu Yan looked up at Ye Zi and said slowly, word by word, “A Zi, I know what I’m going to say next may be hard to believe, but please understand that I will never lie to you.”
“I have lived two lives.”
“In my previous life, I was still Prince Rui and you were my guard named Huaiyuan.” Gu Yan said softly, “I told you that I messed up in the past. I fought with the Crown Prince for power and ultimately implicated you and also harmed myself.”
“After my death, my soul wandered around and had nowhere to go. I didn’t know how long it had been, but I met a person. That person told me that he could take me back to the past and let me make up for the regrets I had in that life.”
“My biggest regret was losing you.”
Gu Yan looked at Ye Zi: “That person said he brought you back as well and guided me to you.”
Ye Zi asked hoarsely: “He brought me back as well?”
“Yes.” Gu Yan said, “Because of this I was able to determine that you were you and not someone else.”
“But……”
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But he clearly remembered his life before he came here. He lived in the modern era, he had his own family and friends, how could he be the real Huaiyuan? He had clearly read a book……
Ye Zi suddenly froze.
Where did he read that book?
What was it called and who wrote it?
He couldn’t remember. He clearly remembered the contents of the book, but he couldn’t remember when he read it.
Ye Zi tried to recall, but his mind seemed to be wrapped in a layer of white fog, wrapping up the past and making it impossible for him to remember. A sharp stabbing pain suddenly hit him, Ye Zi’s face turned pale and his gaze turned black.
“A Zi, don’t force yourself to remember.” Gu Yan pulled him into his arms and reached out gently to stroke the back of his head a few times, “Listen to me, don’t make things harder for yourself.”
Ye Zi finally calmed down after a while and the tingling pain in his head gradually subsided. Leaning on Gu Yan’s shoulder, his voice was low and muffled: “When you were young, you brought me back to the Prince’s manor to take care of me and waited for me for ten years. But I forgot everything and only wanted to escape, even blaming you after you locked me up.”
“You were afraid that I would escape, so you made up a lie to trick me into staying and pretending to be Princess Consort Rui.”
Gu Yan closed his eyes and whispered: “That wedding banquet was originally prepared for you. You may not remember that in a previous life, but I promised you.”
Ye Zi’s eyes suddenly turned red all of a sudden: “You have done so much for me and yet I doubt you. H-How could I be like this?……”
Gu Yan said warmly: “A Zi, I have my own selfish motives. I didn’t tell you what happened because I thought we could start over. Those things in my past life were far more painful than beautiful to me and I believe that if you remembered it all, you will think so too.”
“That’s why I didn’t say anything.”
Gu Yan continued: “But I didn’t think you would find out about this. If I had known, I wouldn’t have hidden it from you in the first place. It’s my fault.”
Ye Zi bit his lips tightly as tears fell silently, wetting a small piece of Gu Yan’s lapel.
This person was still taking his feelings into consideration even now even though he should be the one feeling the most upset.
Ye Zi didn’t dare to think about how much care Gu Yan had put in to take care of him and waited for him to transform during those ten years. He didn’t dare to think how upset Gu Yan would feel when he realized that he couldn’t remember anything. How much strength did he need in order to accept all this calmly and even negotiate with him into staying as if nothing had happened?
Ye Zi’s body trembled slightly and his heart ached as if he had been stabbed by some kind of sharp instrument repeatedly.
After an unknown amount of time, Ye Zi softly said: “I am sorry……”
Gu Yan distanced himself slightly, lowered his head, and looked into those reddened eyes: “Don’t be like this, A Zi, you have nothing to be sorry about. You can’t remember anything and if I put myself in your shoes, I would have made the same choice as you. There is no right or wrong in this kind of thing.”
Ye Zi’s voice choked: “I wish I had asked you earlier instead of making you sick and uncomfortable……..”
Gu Yan reached out and gently brushed away the tears on his face, softly saying: “But not only did you not ask me, you still returned to my side. If I hadn’t accidentally gotten sick again that day, were you not going to ask me?”
Ye Zi lowered his head and didn’t answer.
Gu Yan asked: “Can you tell me, what have you been thinking about for the past half month?”
Ye Zi was silent for a moment and whispered: “I……just want to stay by your side.”
“I’m also selfish.” Ye Zi said, “You’re so good to me that I can’t bear to leave. I was also worried that after everything came to light, you would kick me out. That’s why I wanted to……”
Gu Yan asked: “You just want to stay by my side and pretend as if nothing happened? Wouldn’t it be unbearable like this?”
“It would be.” Ye Zi pursed his lips and truthfully said, “But when I think about it, if I clear things up with you, what if you don’t want me anymore? If I can’t see you in the future and can’t be close to you, it’ll be even more unbearable for me.”
Ye Zi buried his head in Gu Yan’s neck, grabbed the corner of his clothes, and said aggrievedly: “I’m so useless……”
Gu Yan thought that it was distressing and funny at the same time. Even though this person was wronged, he didn’t even dare to get angry with him. To think he was actually worried that he would leave him without saying goodbye.
Gu Yan sighed softly and helplessly said: “This nature of yours hasn’t changed a single bit after all these years. You deserve to be punished.”
Ye Zi muttered: “I don’t do this with others, I just……like you too much.”
Gu Yan lowered his voice: “Say it again.”
Ye Zi was stunned for a moment. He turned his head to the side and didn’t dare to look at him: “Don’t you already know?”
Gu Yan cupped Ye Zi’s face and said seriously: “I want to hear it from your own mouth. A Zi, be good, say it again.”
Ye Zi raised his hand to hold Gu Yan’s hand and looked at the face that mesmerized him.
This man was the proud son of Heaven, destined to have a noble status from birth. However, he was also like an ordinary man, walking on thin ice when it came to love, longing to hear the words of love from the person he cared about.
In the past, Ye Zi had never believed in fate nor did he believe that there was really destiny in this world. But even though he had clearly forgotten his past, he still inevitably fell in love with this person after being brought back here.
If this wasn’t fate, he couldn’t think of any other explanation.
Ye Zi suddenly felt a little regretful. Why did Gu Yan still remember everything, but he had forgotten all those things?
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There were so many memories with him that were missing.
Ye Zi leaned forward slightly and kissed Gu Yan lightly on his lips: “Gu Zicheng, I like you.”
After Ye Zi finished saying this, he felt embarrassed and was about to run away when Gu Yan pulled him back. Gu Yan responded to him with a gentle kiss without any lust, only a slow and meticulous caress.
Ye Zi couldn’t stand his gentleness and was immediately aroused. He reached out, hooked his arms around Gu Yan’s neck, and raised his head with parted mouth so that it was easier for Gu Yan to kiss him.
Gu Yan knew that he liked this and readily deepened the kiss.
When Gu Yan let go of him, Ye Zi was out of breath and panting on top of him. Gu Yan didn’t want to do anything at first, but he couldn’t stand the alluring appearance of his little princess consort. When he was about to hold his hand, Ye Zi avoided it sensibly.
Ye Zi shook his head: “We can’t.”
Gu Yan frowned: “What’s wrong?”
Ye Zi was not in a hurry at this moment and said rationally: “You are injured and also still sick. We mustn’t fool around.”
Gu Yan: “……”
Who was the one fooling around just now?
Ye Zi, like a kitten that had stolen fish, licked his lips for a moment before he was satisfied: “We should head back now, right?”
Gu Yan was now aroused but didn’t dare to get angry at him as he asked patiently: “Why are you in such a hurry?”
Ye Zi responded seriously: “To ask Dr. Pei to come and treat you. I also need to remind him in person that he is not allowed to prescribe you those poisonous medicines that will harm your body in the future, even if you want him to.”
Gu Yan had no choice but to suppress his other thoughts and obediently returned to the manor with him.
A little later, Pei Ge was invited to the Prince’s manor.
Ye Zi told Pei Ge his thoughts and seeing that Gu Yan wasn’t refuting, Pei Ge stopped giving Gu Yan the medicine and replaced it with other nourishing tonics. As he lay in bed, Gu Yan had to listen to the two chat about his condition in the outer room and although he felt helpless, he could only be obedient.
His sickly body had been through too much in the past few years and even if recovery goes smoothly, it would still take him at least half a year.
That was nothing to him. The only thing that didn’t please Gu Yan was that when Pei Ge prescribed the medicine, he instructed the two of them very seriously: “No sexual intercourse during the period of recuperation.”
That was a bit difficult.
After finally clearing up the misunderstanding and hearing his little princess consort admit his feelings, he was reduced to a fate in which he could see, but couldn’t eat. No matter who it was, they wouldn’t be able to bear it.
However, Ye Zi didn’t think it was a big deal.
Ye Zi had always liked to be close to Gu Yan. Gu Yan understood his preferences and was never stingy in the past when helping him out.
But that was all Ye Zi wanted.
Earlier, Gu Yan thought that Ye Zi was shy but only after a long day did he realize that this person simply didn’t have that aspect in his mind.
He liked Gu Yan’s kisses and hugs, but on a deeper level, he didn’t have much of an idea.
This couldn’t help but make Gu Yan deeply tormented.
However, Gu Yan quickly stopped thinking about it, because these days, Ye Zi suddenly became more and more sleepy.
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